When Trauma Lingers in the Body

Significant childhood trauma can leave a lifelong impact.

For a long time, I believed I had escaped my past. I built a happy life, gained a good education, and achieved a successful career. On the surface, it seemed like I’d moved on.

But trauma has a way of settling in the body—quietly, subtly—until it doesn’t.

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The Weight of the Past

Years later, the weight of that past, along with a diagnosis of PTSD, began to manifest in deeper, more physical ways. I’d been living with pain and a growing list of unexplained symptoms for years. No matter what I tried, it felt as though my body was only getting worse.

There’s the arthritis in my spine, the lasting effects of medical menopause following my hysterectomy, and increasingly limited mobility—joint issues, loss of sensation, and more. It’s exhausting. At times, it has left me feeling utterly despondent.

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The Four Mindsets: A Shift in Perspective

Recently, I was reminded of something I’d read in Dave Rees and Dr Friends book, Why Are You Pretending to Be Normal?—a powerful exploration of disability and identity that deeply resonated with me.

In the book, Rees and Friend describes four mindsets that people often cycle through when facing long-term challenges:

1. Magical Mindset

A childlike belief that anything is possible—a miracle cure might happen, everything could change.

2. Heroic Mindset

The drive to push through adversity with sheer willpower—to fight and overcome no matter the cost.

3. Resigned Mindset

A sense of hopelessness—accepting limitations as permanent and believing there’s no way forward.

4. Cynical mindset 

Responding to challenges with sarcasm, frustration, or bitterness—often as a form of self-protection.

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“I realised I had slipped into a resigned mindset—and that awareness gave me a choice.”

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From Resignation to Resilience

I was resigned to the belief that my body was deteriorating and there was nothing I could do. Resigned to missing joyful moments with my children because I was in pain. Resigned to the idea that my career would inevitably suffer.

But just recognising that I was stuck in that mindset gave me the power to question it:

Did I truly want to be resigned?

The answer was a clear no.

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Choosing a Heroic and Realistic Path

I wanted to be heroic in how I faced life—but in a way that also honoured my limits. There are things I can not control. But there are also things I can.

So I began to work on my mindset, gently challenging the inner voice that came from a place of lack. Instead, I focus on what I can do, what I do have, and the opportunities that are still within reach.

That shift—small but powerful—has already started to make a difference. I feel lighter, clearer, and, bit by bit, more hopeful.

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You’re Not Alone

If you’re navigating trauma, disability, or chronic illness, and you feel stuck in one of these mindsets—please know you’re not alone. We are allowed to grieve, to struggle, and also to shift. Sometimes the smallest internal movement can change everything.

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💬 I’d love to hear from you

Has this resonated with your own experience? Feel free to share your reflections in the comments or reach out to connect. We heal, not in isolation, but in community.

Whilst this book is focused on disability there were so many concepts that resonated with me. The models of how the world views us growing up in care feel similar to the models discussed here. And the challenges of carrying trauma and finding a way forward. You can find a copy here https://www.amazon.co.uk/Why-are-You-Pretending-Normal/