Nice things happen to nice people. Why we should stop using this awful saying.

I was struggling a little for inspiration this week and then I came across the comment on a friends post “Nice things happen to nice people.” and dam I was not about to miss correcting one of life’s most awful sayings.

I know the person writing this was just trying to be kind. They were just trying to convey feelings of fondness for the person they wrote it to, but here is why I think it needs to be stamped out for good.

It belittles the efforts of that person

We don’t just get nice things handed to us we have to work for them.

I know the person this comment was offered to and yes they are nice in fact I would say they are lovely. They are also massively hard working, persistent, brave. The fruits of their labour have not been because they were nice. It was been because they worked really bloody hard for it, continually for years. They were clear on what their dreams were and they went for it. They stuck with it, they expanded, they grew. And even in reference to the simple pleasure of an early morning sunrise, they choose to get up that day and be there.

Saying something like nice things happen to nice people when they have something to enjoy is failing to acknowledge all the hard work they put in. Like the world just gave it to them because they are nice.

It implies bad things happen to bad people.

In the world of mental health it is easy to blame ourselves.

This it the aspect I hate the most. I have had a lot of sh*t happen to me especially in my younger life. Did that mean I was some how deserving of it because I was not nice?

I certainly was not perfect far from it and yes at times teenage me was not nice. Hell who am I kidding on occasion adult me is not nice. However I don’t think I am significantly less nice than so many others who didn’t have to deal with my sh*t. (Of course they had their own sh*t to deal with, but if you were going to measure not nice things with not nice people I would have had to be REALLY not nice.

Using the “nice things nice people” implies so much. Or at least it is an obvious source of negative self speak for so many of us going through hard times.

I remember hearing similar things as a kid and I would at times think for a moment was what happened to me because I deserved it. Somehow I was wrong, made a mistake, failed to be good enough. Done something awful in a previous life. Which really is not true (at least I hope).

Statements like these made be question what I could have done so wrong.

So the next time you think to say something like this please remember they are worth more and so are we.

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