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We have been fitting our new bathroom this week. As with most diy projects there have been the inevitable challenges and unexpected issues to over come. One of the expected challenges was cutting a tile to fit around the curved sink.
Three attempts and we (mostly the husband, with moral support from me) finally managed it. I joked with him that it was third time lucky. It got me thinking is that famous saying right. Is it third time lucky or is it actually… Third Time Learnt. But why would it matter if the saying is wrong when it comes to our happiness.
Luck is not the master of our destiny.
The third time lucky phase places power in the concept of luck. Sometimes this idea of an unseen force, out of our control, deciding without reason who gets a good outcome can be very demotivating when it comes to pursuing happiness.
Luck is a concept we use to explain unexpected outcomes. Outcomes often actually produced by hard work and actions. To be happy we have to persistently act towards our happiness.
Learnt not luck.
We often struggle with ourselves when we try things in life and fail. We are very good at beating ourselves up, but in reality those things we try and fail at are so valuable. They are a sign we are growing.
If we never fail at anything that would be much worse. In that space we are only operating safely in our comfort zone.
I hear lots of reference to the comfort zone as a place we are happy to be. I actually think it should be called the familiar zone, same old zone, repeat zone. I know lots of people who struggle with their mental health because they don’t do anything about it, often because it is too scary to, or easy not too. Acting on it is well outside of the familiar zone.
Third time learnt not first.
Third time learnt offers us the opportunity to try again. It highlights a truth we often avoid, getting something right the first time is rare. I know people how have struggled for years to find happiness, when you suggest things they might try, the answer is simply I have tried that before. And it is true they often have, but they have not tried it a second, third or even fourth time.
It is true some approaches won’t work for people no matter how many times they try them. But what absolutely works for no one, 100% of the time is giving up trying because something did not work once.