I am so grateful for every like and comment on my blogs. This journey has been a tricky one but knowing you are there has made it all the more worthwhile.
I had to share with you I did something very out of character this week. I snapped back. Someone said something which upset me and I snapped back at them. In fact I sent twelve ranting text messages properly having a go.
Yes I would not advise this course of action. The fallout was difficult and mending bridges always takes more time than damaging them. But in some ways this was a win for me. Historically I would have sucked it up, said nothing, taken the hit. At worst I would have gone to bed without replying and then the next day sent a neutral reply or even sent a message asking if they were ok?
This time though after some amazing coaching from a friend and with the support of my husband I stood up for myself. I can’t say I am entirely proud of it as I was really rather mean in my response. But I did notice something. Overall my inner me felt better for it.
It felt like that little voice inside shouted YES at last you are sticking up for us. You are not focusing on the million reasons you are wrong to snap back. You are not convincing yourself of the hundred reasons they need your support. You felt angry and you reacted. You stood your ground. You focused on the reasons you felt you were right, not all the reasons you might be wrong.
Honestly I am not suggesting we should all go out tomorrow and start reacting to every misstep of a world which let’s face it many days forgets it’s dance moves. But I am saying it’s kind of freeing to feel what you feel. And it’s essential for you to know you have got your own back. Otherwise who else are you expecting to stand up for you.
I don’t think in decades I have stood up for myself. Until now. And I kind of like it.
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